The following letter is unfortunately completely imaginary . . .
I want to take this time to thank you profusely for my new drum kit. I will forever and ever and ever be grateful. I will only and always use my new drum kit to play
country music songs songs with wholesome lyrics. I will mostly play songs that talk about how great mothers are. If I ever decide to form a band (which I won’t), I’ll name the band MY MOM IS AWESOME or MOM IS ALWAYS RIGHT or MOM’s THE BOMB. I’ll play my drums in the church worship band, at charity benefit concerts and in nursing homes. If I ever receive public recognition for my drum playing prowess, I will first thank God and then you. If I ever earn any money from my “mad drumming skills”, I can think of nothing I would rather do than treat you and Dad to a 2nd honeymoon in Branson Hawaii, Greece or Italy. Most of all, I will, without complaint, keep up my end of the bargain and do the dishes every night till the end of time for the next six months.
Your devoted son, Tyler